Pitching
In: Simple Ways to Get Your Family Involved
By Colleen Langenfeld
We all have 'em. Families would
rather do a million other things than …
- clean the garage
- do homework
- make their beds
- walk the dog
- practice a musical instrument
- do the dishes
- put their clothes away
- scoop out the litter box
- hang up their coats (or towels)
Get the picture? If you're tired
of nagging, begging and even pleading to get your family members
to help out around your home, listen up. There's a better way
to get the cooperation you want.
Help them see the benefits. Everybody likes to
eat, but no one likes to clean up? Well, when only those who work
get to eat, suddenly work looks much more appealing.
Negotiate. Teens
and adults definitely like to have a say in their environment.
If someone truly detests a chore, it's a reasonable thing to arrange
a swap with someone else. Bottom line? There is work to be done
and everyone must pull his or her own weight.
Put them in charge.
Assign age-appropriate tasks to family members and then let them
fail ... naturally. Consequences are an important part of life,
and when we inappropriately shield our kids from those consequences,
we can be doing them a disservice. If it's 14-year-old Johnny's
turn to fix dinner tonight and he “forgets,” the whole
family will be knocking at his door and complaining. The key here
is to not give in and call for pizza! Unless someone's ill, missing
a meal will not hurt anyone. Or serve bread and water as the replacement
meal. Chances are, Johnny will not forget again.
Model. If the
adults in the household are balking at doing their part, it will
be virtually impossible to get the kids to fall in line. Healthy
households are managed from the top (adults) down, which means
the adults must be mature enough to assume the leadership roles
meant for them. If you have a spouse who doesn't believe he or
she should pitch in, try the practical approach. Suggest exchanging
favors with each other. You'll do something to free him if he
will agree to promote more helpfulness around the house.
Use teamwork.
This is my favorite idea because it puts smiles on faces and everyone
wins. Whatever the task, do it together. As parents, our children
crave our attention, and time spent cleaning the bathroom, making
dinner and folding clothes are genuine relationship-building moments.
Smart families know that if you start the teamwork at a young
age (preschool), over time you'll develop young adults who will
listen to and respect you as parents, act more responsible in
general, know how to work in a group and be competent in many
of life's daily tasks when they leave the nest.
Play regularly.
A solid way to get kids involved around the house is to teach
that if we are going to work hard, we are definitely going to
play hard. Plan out those fun times and put them on your schedule,
just like the other important events in your life. If your kids
learn you are serious about playing hard regularly and that it's
tied to taking care of everyday responsibilities, they will learn
to cooperate fast.
Wonder if these ideas
can work? Try them. Pick one or two you like and customize
them to fit your unique family. Plan a strategy that will make
things better around your home. Practice your plans awhile and
make adjustments as you go. Your leadership and involvement is
key in getting your troop working together like the family team
they were meant to be!
© Colleen Langenfeld
Colleen Langenfeld offers helpful
ideas to busy working moms. Use our resources at www.paintedgold.com
to make your life feel easier, healthier and smarter now!
