Eight Ways to Be a Better Friend
By Susie Cortright
Being a good friend is a skill we can learn and improve upon.
Here are eight ways to be a better friend.
1.
Like yourself. The first step in having a good relationship
with a friend is to have a good relationship with yourself. When
we genuinely like ourselves, we become more attractive to other
people. We have more to offer others because we are not constantly
focused on our own image and reputation. We become better friends
because we don't cling. We are secure enough to spend time with
a friend because we want to, not because we need to.
2.
Choose wisely. Relationships among true friends take a steady
dose of time and energy —two resources
in limited supply for all of us. Identify the friends with
whom you wish to create
a closer bond. It's perfectly okay if not all of your acquaintances
make the list. The closeness of your connections is far more
important than the length of your guest lists.
3.
Make the time. Friends are important in many ways — so
much so that these relationships often take on a life of their
own. You owe it to yourself (and to your friends) to make these
relationships a priority. Carve out some quality time for one
another.
4.
Make the first move. If you want to improve your relationships,
put your fear of rejection aside and start
taking more risks.
Invite your friends to lunch. Organize a new playgroup. Invite
them over for dinner. Too often, we fail to follow up with our
friends. Don't miss out — just make the first phone call.
Your friends are just as anxious to get together as you are.
5.
The Golden Rule: Treat your friends as you wish to be treated. Stated another way: "To have a friend, be a friend." Focus
more on being interested than on being interesting. Be enthusiastic
and energetic. Avoid complaining, gossiping and criticizing.
6. Sweat the small stuff. Make your friends feel significant
by remembering small kindnesses. Notice her new haircut. Remember
to ask about her mother-in-law's surgery. Send flowers or a
simple e-mail when you know she needs it most.
7.
Listen. Good listeners are hard to find, and honing your
skills can be a long-term project. A few tips:
• Slow down. Try not to finish your friend's sentences. If you
catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still
talking, gently remind yourself to focus on the speaker.
• Show her you are listening. Maintain eye contact. Offer nods
and murmurs that indicate you understand her point of view.
• Minimize distractions.
• Ask questions.
• Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to vent her
frustrations, not ask you for a plan of action.
8.
Be loyal. We all need someone in our corner. If your friend
isn't there to defend herself against gossip or criticism, speak
up and know she would do the same for you.
© Susie
Cortright
Susie Cortright is the founder of momscape.com and Momscape's
Scrapbooking
Playground.
Join her scrapbooking
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