Practice “Positivity”
By Christine Hennebury
Have you ever confused negativity
with just being realistic, believing somehow that seeing the downside
of every situation is facing life as it really is? In truth, negativity
is nothing more than a bad habit — and once you un-learn
it, the resulting self-esteem boost and newfound ability to cope
with the challenges in your life will convince you that being
more positive is well worth the effort!
Choose your own perspective.
We are bombarded with negative attitudes daily — so it’s
no wonder that we internalize it. The danger is that we don't
even realize that we have done so, and we start to believe our
negative thoughts are “the way things are” instead
of a mere interpretation. This reaction is so automatic that we
don't even realize it has happened and we allow the negative interpretation
to frame our reality. Instead of giving in to negativity, we need
to learn to choose a positive interpretation of our lives and
let that perspective guide us.
Be conscious. We
often accept critique from ourselves and others without question.
Before you accept self-critique or critique from others, put the
comment in perspective. Would you let someone say that about a
friend of yours? Could the speaker have their own agenda (conscious
or unconscious)? Start listening carefully and assessing these
comments before you accept them as truth, and make the decision
as to whether you'll let them frame your reality rather than letting
it happen automatically.
Use your subconscious.
Your subconscious needs work to do, and unless you feed it lots
of positivity, it will mull over all the negativity you have absorbed
until you begin to view the world through the negative lens. Instead
of being down on yourself —negative self-talk like “I
can't boil water without burning it” — try re-framing
your sentence: “I use some healthy convenience foods in
order to create nutritious meals for my family, so I have lots
of time to spend enjoying it,”' or “People always
ask me to choose the restaurant because I have such good taste.”
Surround yourself with
positive people. Try to find people who react positively
to life and cultivate friendships with them. People who only see
the downside are tiring and can drag you down. You probably can't
avoid all the negative people in your life, but you can counteract
the effects they have on your attitude by also spending time with
positive people. And once you have your positive attitude firmly
entrenched, you can respond to their negative comments by changing
the subject or by saying “Let's not get into that —
it's too depressing.”
Take positive steps
• Keep a compliments
book. Every time someone gives you a compliment, write
about it in a journal so that when you’re feeling low
you can take a look and get a boost.
• Surround yourself with positive company.
• Write down an affirmative statement:
“I am a physically fit, quick-witted person who loves
to read and who cares deeply for my family,” or something
similar that makes you feel good about yourself. Keep your affirmation
somewhere where you can read it easily and often.
• Take time for yourself. Make a list
of five small things to do that energize you and make you feel
good about yourself. When you feel negativity overtaking you,
try one of them!
• Exercise. Even small amounts of exercise
help you to boost your endorphins and help you feel better about
the world.
Cultivating a positive outlook
doesn't mean you have to be a Pollyanna all the time — after
all, bad things do happen to good people, and sometimes you won’t
accomplish all that you set out to do. Just keep setbacks and
failures in perspective, instead of imagining that negativity
is a pattern in your life, and you’ll be able to keep a
positive outlook throughout life’s ups and downs.
© Christine Hennebury
Christine Hennebury is a freelance
writer and stay-at-home mom in Mount Pearl, Newfoundland. More
of her writing is available at http://www.mombie.com.
