How You Can Teach Respect
By Steve McChesney
One of the most important things
you can teach your child is respect. Keep in mind that respect
is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they
are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know
you want what's best for them.
The best way to teach respect is
to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what
it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. Keep
in mind the saying, "Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you."
Respect is an attitude. Being respectful
helps a child succeed in life. If children don't have respect
for peers, authority, or themselves, it's almost impossible for
them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and
responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.
Schools teach children about respect,
but parents have the most influence on how respectful children
become. Until children show respect at home, it's unlikely they
will show it anywhere else.
Respecting your child
How can you show respect to your child?
• Be honest. If you do
something wrong, admit it and apologize.
• Be positive. Don't embarrass, insult or make fun of
your child. Compliment him.
• Be trusting. Let your child make choices and take responsibility.
• Be fair. Listen to your child's side of the story before
reaching a conclusion.
• Be polite. Use "please" and "thank you."
Knock before entering your child's room.
• Be reliable. Keep promises. Show your child that you
mean what you say.
• Be a good listener. Give your child your full attention.
Modeling good behavior
Children learn from everything we say and do. Make sure that you
are modeling respectful behavior. Some of things you can do are:
• Obey laws. Follow rules.
• Be caring. Show concern for people, animals and the
environment.
• Avoid poor role models. When you see examples of disrespect,
discuss them.
More respect tactics
When you set rules at home, explain to your child why the rule
is important. For instance, if the rule is "No TV between
4:00 and 6:00," explain that this is because this is homework
time and homework is important to keep grades up in school.
•
Teach your children to respect themselves.
Self-respect is one of the most important forms of
respect. Once we respect ourselves, it is easier to respect
others.
• Your
opinion means a lot to your children. If you believe your children
can succeed, they will believe they can as well. Build their
independence. Give them responsibilities as soon as they can
handle them.
•
Help them set
and achieve goals. Their self-respect will skyrocket when they
see themselves achieving those goals.
• Encourage
honesty. Let your children know that they may be able to fool
some people, but they can't fool themselves. There is no pride
in stealing, cheating or lying.
• Most
importantly, show love! Say “I love you" often, and
give plenty of hugs and kisses. If your child makes a mistake,
remind them that they are still loved.
Respect at every age
Age affects children's respect. Children and adults deserve respect
at every age.
• Babies are too young
to show respect, but when you meet their needs, they learn to
trust you. This helps as they get older, because respect for
authority is based on trust.
• Toddlers are old enough
to learn to say "please" and "thank you."
• Preschoolers are a good
age for learning rules and consequences.
• Elementary age children
show the most respect for adults who make fair rules. It helps
to let them have a say in the rules that they are expected to
follow.
• Middle schoolers and
high schoolers should be allowed to show independence, such
as in their clothing or hairstyles, but make sure you have guidelines.
They will appreciate the respect you are showing them.
© Steve McChesney
Steve and Lisa McChesney publish
a daily self-esteem building and motivational newsletter. Visit
them at Bully
Free Kids.
