My 8-year-old son has been lying quite a bit lately. We’ve
punished him for it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.
What can we do to stop this?
Mark Brandenburg replies:
While there’s no guarantee that your son will stop lying
to you, it might be helpful to look at the reasons why he is.
First of all, it’s not unusual for 8-year-olds to tell some
lies. The reason he’s lying may be that he’s not feeling
particularly secure with himself, or maybe he’s afraid of
your response.
Whatever the reason, one way to
handle it is to get down on his level when you hear a lie and
say, “You know, honey, it must be hard when you feel like
you can’t tell us the truth. But when you lie to us, it
makes it harder for us to trust you. Let’s all try to do
better.”
After this is said, drop it and
go on with your life. Most of the problems will occur if you overreact
and make it worse. Eventually, the lying will leave on its own.
© Mark Brandenburg.
NFO regular contributor
Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC, is the author of 25
Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers. Sign up for
his free bi-weekly newsletter, Dads, Don't Fix Your Kids,
at MarkBrandenburg.com.