Natural Infant Hygiene:
A Gentle Alternative to Long-term Diapering
By Ingrid Bauer
I never dreamed I would end up living with a diaper-free baby
in a culture where having a baby is synonymous with diapering.
When motherhood graced my life 16 years ago, I believed all babies
needed diapers and toilet training. I never imagined that any
alternative to the raging debate between cloth and disposables
even existed.
At the time, I was convinced that children simply lacked the
muscles and communication skills to regulate their elimination
before about 24 months. To expect otherwise would bring all kinds
of nasty physical and psychological consequences. And these I
was planning wholeheartedly to avoid.
Since then, I've had to re-examine everything I ever believed
about toilet training. My youngest son, like millions of babies
around the globe, experienced no difficulty in developing awareness
and control of his body functions from infancy. We've been communicating
about it since his birth, and he was out of diapers since he
was four months old. His younger sister has been diaperless from
birth. The consequences have been positive: a strengthened trust,
an intimate bond and a child who is conscious and comfortable
in his body.
A revolutionary concept with ancient roots
What I learned and came to call natural infant hygiene seems
new, unusual and revolutionary in our culture. Yet throughout
human existence, parents have cared for their babies hygienically
without diapers. In many cultures around the world, mothers
still know how to tune in, understand, and respond to their
infants' elimination needs to keep them clean and content.
Natural Infant Hygiene is common
in Asia, Africa and parts of South America and was traditionally
practiced
among the Inuit
and some Native North American peoples. For these mothers, knowing
when their baby "needs to go" and holding them over
an appropriate place is (or was) second nature.
There is a small but steadily
growing resurgence of interest in this practice among North
American and European
parents today.
Parents are drawn to it because "it's natural," for
the baby's physical comfort, to avoid diaper rash and digestive
problems, to support the baby's body awareness, for environmental
reasons, to prevent diapering and toilet training struggles and
to reduce diaper use.
The greatest reason and benefit, however, is that parents feel
they are responding to their baby's needs in the present moment,
enhancing their bond and developing a deep and close communication
and trust.
How does natural infant
hygiene work?
When the mother knows or feels that her baby needs to go, she
can remove the diaper or clothing and hold the baby in a secure,
close position over an appropriate receptacle. There are several
facets to communicating with a preverbal baby about elimination.
Timing and elimination
patterns
Watching closely, the mother
learns when the baby usually goes and how this relates to other
body functions, such as sleeping or nursing. For example, many
babies pee as soon as they awaken and at regular intervals after
nursing.
Baby's signals and body
language
Once they begin watching for
it, many parents are amazed to notice that their babies are actually
signaling when they need to go. Though every baby is different,
some common signals include: fussing, squirming, grunting or
vocalizing, pausing and becoming still, waking from sleep, a
certain frown, etc.
Intuition and natural infant hygiene
Many mothers find they are able to simply know when
their babies need to relieve themselves, especially once they've
been using natural infant hygiene for a while. For example, I
could feel this even when I had my back turned to my child.
Cueing the
baby
Natural infant
hygiene is a two-way communication. Around the world, parents
may use a specific
sound (such as "shhh" or "sss")
and a specific position to hold their baby when they eliminate.
This serves as a kind of preliminary language that the baby comes
to associate with the act and a way for the parents to offer
an opportunity to go. However, it is always the baby who decides
whether they need to or not. Sometimes the baby also begins to
use this sound as a signal to the parent.
When parents first hear of natural
infant hygiene, they may wonder if this means forcing or rushing
a child to
grow up before
they are ready. This is a valid concern and one that is easily
allayed when you've seen this gentle practice in action. Unlike
conventional toilet training, the focus in natural infant hygiene
is not on the baby contracting and retaining or "holding
in" body functions. Rather, the baby communicates a need
and relaxes and releases at will with the parent's support. The
ability to retain develops at the baby's pace, as a natural consequence
of his or her awareness.
Millions of mothers worldwide can attest to the fact that babies
clearly can voluntarily regulate their elimination without any
coercion or negative effects whatsoever. On the contrary, parents
often feel an increased closeness and respect for their baby.
A different kind of work
When people first learned that I took my baby regularly to pee
rather than relying on diapers, they often commented that it
sounded like an awful lot of work. This puzzled me at the time,
because it seemed to me a lot less work (and much more enjoyable)
than changing a baby and washing wet or poopy diapers for years.
As well, parents who waited till their child was older and "ready" to
toilet train still seemed to spend a tremendous amount of energy
for a much longer time, focusing on helping their children
learn as well as avoiding or cleaning up accidents both during
the day and at night.
As I considered the paradox, it became apparent to me that natural
infant hygiene is neither more nor less work. It is an entirely
different kind of work, a different frame of reference altogether.
The primary focus of elimination communication is not about cleaning
up after baby (though that may still be required for a time).
It's about tuning in to a baby's needs, being in the present
moment with your child, listening deeply and acting responsively.
It's about not disturbing the natural rhythm in the first place,
so nothing need be done to fix it later.
Seen superficially, this may seem
far less convenient than conventional toilet training, since
you can't just rely
on leaving the baby
in a wet diaper while you finish some important project. In this
way, it resembles other responsive parenting practices, which
because they are not the norm, seem to require more effort and
attention to answering your baby's needs. For example, a mother
who chooses to fulfill her baby's needs by total on cue breastfeeding
is in a similar position. She gives up the possibility of going
out without her child for extended periods, a "convenience" most
nursing mothers happily trade for the convenience of being able
to meet their baby's needs for comfort, security and optimum
nutrition.
Tuning in to your baby in this way does require commitment and
effort, as does being a responsive parent in general. Most parents
prefer to use diapers at least part-time during the early learning
process, on outings and sometimes at night if they don't waken
in time to respond to their baby's need to go. Most children
become reliably toilet independent with this method between about
10 to 20 months. Yet many of the parents I've interviewed say
they would choose natural infant hygiene again even if it were
to take just as long as conventional training. They value the
closeness and communication.
I think the real work of natural infant hygiene is that of being
in the present moment. There are days when it can seem like the
most difficult thing in the world to do. And there are days when
you have glimpses of enlightenment.
Another opportunity for gentle nurturing
Parents who follow nature's plan for infant care have a distinct
advantage in responding to a baby's needs fully. Babies who
are breastfed and have frequent or constant contact with their
mother's bodies feel satisfied, secure and content. In turn,
this strengthens the parent's confidence, pleasure and responsiveness.
Studies have shown that these infants are more likely to have
their subtle signals heeded and cry less. Even when these babies
cry, they do so in the loving arms of a parent who is doing
their utmost to understand and help.
It's clear that babies are not the passive beings they were
once believed to be. They are absorbing and processing new stimuli
and sensory information moment by moment. They are also signaling
in both subtle and not so subtle ways throughout the day, trying
to communicate to their caregivers exactly what they need, when.
Natural infant hygiene opens another avenue for parents to tune
in and respond to their baby's primal needs. This opportunity
for strengthening the intimate parent-child relationship relies
on practical tools designed by nature to work. Yet natural infant
hygiene offers much more than just another parenting technique
for dealing with a baby's elimination. Ideally, it is fundamentally
a way of being with our babies. This way of being focuses on
relationship and communication -- a lifestyle, rather than a
chore.
The greatest gift you can give your baby is yourself: your body,
your acceptance, your responsiveness, your time and your energy.
Nothing could be simpler or more challenging, more vulnerable
or more empowering. Nothing could be more freeing or health and
life enhancing.
Copyright © 2001 Ingrid
Bauer; reprinted with permission.
Ingrid
Bauer lives with her family on an island on the West Coast
of British Columbia, Canada. She is the author of the new
book Diaper
Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene and
many articles on parenting, gardening and natural living.
To order Diaper Free! contact Natural
Wisdom Press or call 1-888-661-5545 toll-free or 250-653-9123.
