Start a Teen Reading Group
By Rachel Paxton
If you're looking for a way to
connect with your teenage daughter this summer, consider starting
a girl's book study group with your daughter and her friends.
You may think that teens would not respond well to this idea,
but think again -- you just might be surprised.
First, bounce the idea off your
daughter and see what her thoughts are on the subject. If she
shows any sign of interest, then brainstorm some possible book
titles and topics. When my daughter and I started our group last
summer, we had in mind to get some girls together from our church's
high school youth group. So we talked about some of the books
that people were reading at the time.
Forming the group
Next, my daughter started calling her friends and acquaintances
to see who she could interest in the idea. Almost everyone she
talked to was interested in coming and liked the idea, but many
were already busy with other summer activities.
We narrowed the list to around
four or five who committed to reading the book and getting together
to talk about it. We all gave input into which book we wanted
to read, and ended up with What's So Amazing About Grace?,
a popular non-fiction book by Phillip Yancey. (You can purchase
the book, a participant's guide and a study guide together or
separately at this page on Powells.com.)
I broke the book down into three-
to four-chapter sections, and we decided to meet Wednesday evenings
for six weeks. Overall, the study went very well, and it was very
rewarding. We all have fond memories of it, and it was great to
spend that quality time with my daughter.
Tips for success
If you think this is something you might be interested in doing,
here are some tips I picked up along the way:
• Don't take it personally
if everyone doesn't come every week. Everyone has busy schedules,
and conflicts arise. Probably only one or two girls came every
single week, and even my daughter missed at least one. You'll
find that conversations can greatly differ depending on the mix
of girls, which is good!
• Meet in a low-key, relaxed setting so everyone is comfortable
and doesn't feel like they're in a classroom. We took blankets
to sit on down to a local park and had snacks every week.
• Don't pressure yourself into having to "lead"
the group. You're not there to teach them, but only to facilitate
the conversation. I found it helpful to choose a book that included
group study questions. Some books have the questions in the back.
This particular book had a companion study guide that had to be
purchased separately.
Just let the girls talk, and ask
questions if there is a big lull in the conversation. Although
you might be tempted to challenge "wrong" answers, let
the girls challenge each other first and see what conclusions
they come to. It is rare that you'll have to intercede. Instead
of challenging someone directly, ask them more questions to help
them reach another answer.
• On the same note, don't feel you have to give advice or
have all the right answers. Most teenagers love having someone
-- particularly adults -- listen to their thoughts and feelings.
They don't expect you to know everything; they just want you to
listen. You'll find that the teens come from all different family
backgrounds and don't always have other people to listen to them
when they need to talk.
• Encourage girls to come to the discussions even if they
didn't do their reading for the week. You'll find that most are
embarrassed if they didn't do their "homework" and don't
want to show up. Encourage them to come even if they didn't read
it, to encourage fellowship among the girls.
• Dads can have book study groups with their teenage sons
and their friends, too! They may need to goof around some more
and maybe burn off some energy before they get down to business
(some kind of outdoor activity), but teenage guys like to get
together and learn from each other also.
A book study group is a great way
to get to know some of your teenager's friends. Encourage them
to also invite people they don't know very well -- people from
school or work who they want to get to know better. It's a great
way to make that first step towards friendship and teaches them
to reach out to others.
© Rachel Paxton
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer,
mom and owner of four home and family web sites. For complete
resources for the Christian home, visit her web site at Christian-Parent.com.
