Q&A: We tend to her every need. But many express sheer horror…

Submitted by Courtney Wed 05/12/2010

Question: My 1 ½ year old

Submitted by Courtney on Wed, 05/12/2010 - 19:59.

Question: My 1 ½ year old rarely sleeps through the night. At a young age I made the decision to “co-sleep” with her and we both really enjoy sleeping with one another. I am quite apprehensive to tell people about this “parenting technique,” since everyone tries to convince me that what I’m doing now is going to screw up my daughter for life. Is this a big mistake?

Answer: I don’t know why it’s happened, but people and practitioners alike seem to really, REALLY hate the idea of a parent sleeping with a child in his or her own bed. Some say that it can leave a child more prone to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) but there has been zero conclusive evidence of this. Others say that it will give the child psychological problems in the long run. Many others just don’t like the idea because, well, aren’t babies SUPPOSED to sleep in their own bed at night?

Everyone will give you their take on parenting. Your baby should be sleeping through the night by 2 months (yeah right! In what world?). Your baby should be introduced to solids at 4 months (this suggestion is just downright ridiculous). Your baby must not be breastfed past 6 months of age (actually, you should try to breastfeed for 4 times as long as that…). The idea that your child should be sleeping through the night, and that you should just allow him or her to wail until they cry themselves to sleep all alone is an old fashioned idea that has actually potentially caused a lot more psychological damage to people than sharing a bed with them. If your baby cries for you to the point that they give up, it can be quite a traumatic experience.

Tending to your daughter’s every need is by no means going to spoil her, or make her dependent, or cause her to be “clingy”. Tending to your daughter’s every need will make her feel self assured, loved (and worthy of that love), and valued. She will know how to trust. She will learn how to open up and express herself. Spending more time with your daughter in a trusting, loving manner will also increase her intelligence and her respect for others.

The bottom line is, whatever works for you and your daughter is exactly that – it WORKS! Each parent is different, just as every child is different, and each person has their own set of challenges and their own set of solutions to those challenges. As long as you and your daughter are safe and happy, forget what everyone else says. You’ll be able to smile as you watch your child grow into a well-adjusted adult, knowing that you did the best job that you possibly could – and on your own terms!

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