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Q&A: How do we know if we're ready to have another baby?
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My son is currently 14 months old and I know that all mothers with children around that age are being asked the same dreaded question: “So when are you having another one?”
The assumption that we women are going to have more than one child astounds me. Do I need to have two? Or… if I don’t, will the one that I have now really grow up spoiled like my grandmother told me he would? Will he not become properly socially adjusted? Admittedly, I have gotten the point where I’ve forgotten about the pregnancy and birthing woes (for the most part) and have begun to consider tossing out my birth control and starting on mystery baby #2. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for it yet.
So how do you know?
First of all, both parents should know that they certainly want baby #2 (or 3, or 4, or 5… you get the picture). Though baby #1 definitely blazes a baby trail and helps you acquaint yourself with what to expect, bear in mind that your experience with baby #1 may be completely different than with baby #2. Having more than one child also doubles your baby duty workload and increases your financial burden.
Ahh, the finances
This seems to be the number one reason why my childless friends do not want children: they cost too much. If you are already a parent, at least you have a lot of the baby gear in house and will not need to buy it new (clothes, toys, perhaps the crib and other miscellaneous items). But two things parents often forget to factor into the finances are:
I don’t know if you have ever placed your child in daycare, but let me tell you – it’s expensive (even with the sibling discount I receive)!
Lastly, physical health is something you certainly need to take into account when planning to become pregnant again. Remind yourself that it can take well up to 2 years for a body to fully recover from the trauma of birth – especially if you have had a caesarean section.
If your dream was to have two babies be one year apart but your physical well-being is not quite up to snuff, you need to look after yourself first in this situation. Your babies need you around and in tip top shape to look after them; you want to be sure that you will be and can stay in tip top shape for them too.