The joy! The happiness! The popped bottle of sparkling apple cider! This was how my partner and I celebrated when I found out I was finally pregnant with our first little one. We hugged, we kissed, we made dinner together – and then he was lost. He had no idea what his part was in this whole “pregnancy” thing, aside for holding back my hair and rubbing my back as I hurled into our porcelain throne.
For us ladies, being “involved” in our pregnancy is, well, necessary! We are right there with our little one, day in and day out, and take on the responsibility as our baby’s caretaker from the start. Because I was so absorbed in my own involvement, I didn’t realize that my husband felt completely left out until one day I saw him looking rather glum.
“I see you so sick, and so happy, and then so sick – I just wish I could share in the experience a bit more,” he said, and was then quick to add, “Well, maybe not so much the sick part…”
So how can we get our hubbies and partners involved in this exciting process? Here are some of the ways that made my darling feel a part of the whole process:
- Bring your partner to most (or all) of your prenatal appointments.
- For a lot of men, you being pregnant and having a baby doesn’t even seem real to them until you start to show – which for some women is when the pregnancy is more than half over! Bringing your partner to your prenatal appointments allows him to listen to the information your doctor or midwife tells you, gives him a chance to ask his own questions (no matter how silly or dumb he may THINK they are) and perhaps the most exciting part is when you and he are able to both listen to the baby’s heart beat (some where around 8 weeks to 12 weeks pregnant) and see your little one during an ultrasound.
- Educate each other
- All too many moms are left to scour the internet and dive into a plethora of birthing and baby books while men flick through the channels on the TV. With both parents educating themselves at the same time you can both then ask and answer each other’s questions. This also helps you both feel familiarize yourself with any little “bumps” that may come along with your baby bump, and get you ready for labor.
- Go to prenatal and Lamaze classes together
- That’s right, get your husband right in there with the “puff-puff-blow” routine by having him help you into the correct birthing positions. This allows him to familiarize himself with what to expect during the birthing process so he will be more helpful in the delivery room (it will help him look a bit less like a deer caught in the headlights to).
- Share your thoughts
- What ever “pregnant” thought you are having, share it! You’re allowed to moan about how your breasts are getting too big (he may not) and you’re allowed to complain about your stretch marks. Or sickness. Or how much you need to pee. You’re allowed to express your fears about how life will be from your baby’s birthday on. Remember that your partner is there to be of support, and he or she will certainly be your rock during both your best and worst hours.
- Budget, budget, budget!
- Your partner and yourself need to be sure that you are on the same page about budgeting for this baby. Alleviating financial worries together will take a large burden from both of your shoulders. It is important that your partner comes along for the baby shopping too so that he can realize just how “real” this pregnancy and soon-to-be baby really are!
I hope that these 5 easy tips help draw your partner much closer to the pregnancy experience. You’ll find that going through this together will also bring you both much closer. Enjoy the bonding and short one-on-one time you have with each other for, oh, another 18 years or so!
