“And I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll BLOW the pain away! Or not… why isn’t this working?!” While in labor’s unrelenting squeezing grasp, a woman can easily become irritated, tired, or downright frustrated with the whole ordeal. All of those pain methods we were taught? Pfft, they don’t seem to be working! And what’s this about labor only taking 8 hours? I’m already on hour 10!
It’s easy to succumb to negative thoughts while you are in pain and your former expectations of labor and the birthing process go by the wayside; that is why it is important that you have a good support foundation with you.
Expert Relationships
Your doctor and/or midwife are a great place to start. During prenatal visits, be sure that you do actually like your doctor or midwife and build up a rapport. This will definitely help you when it comes to hunkering down and pushing that baby out.
Many women also enlist in the help of a doula, a trained labor support person who stays with you throughout the entire labor and birthing process. Some even visit you after the birth of your child for a number of weeks to check in on you and the baby and answer any questions or concerns you may have. If you’re planning on breastfeeding, they are a fantastic resource for how to do it successfully.
Father's, Family and Friends: What you can do to help
Above all else, a laboring woman’s support should come from the father of the baby, a sister, a friend, and/or a mother. Though birth can be rather daunting for someone who is not experienced, the support coming from someone who the birth mother knows and loves is incredibly important.
During early labor, you can:
- Encourage and help mom to eat and walk around, or when she’s resting give her a good foot or back rub.
- Encourage her verbally. Let her know that you are certain she can do this.
- Time the contractions with her.
- Stay in the same room or within earshot.
During active labor (when contractions are 3 to 5 minutes apart and up to 90 seconds in duration) you can do the same things as above, as well as:
- Make sure she pees once every hour!
- Help her change positions
- Keep the tension low and the peacefulness high (or as high as you possibly can); try aromatherapy and massage.
Transition labor support is when things really get serious – and scary for family members in the room. The contractions are now 2 to 3 minutes apart. You can:
- Continually remind her that labor is almost over and that soon there will be a baby in her arms.
- Coach her into taking one contraction at a time. Remind her to breath, and stroke parts of her body softly to relax and release tension (try face, arms, back of the hand, etc).
- Run a hot bath or shower for her – heat works WONDERS in reducing pain naturally. You can also have her sit on the toilet in a steamy washroom to help her relax her body.
The great pushing stage is perhaps the most exciting part of labor. Your job as a support person is:
- Assist her with positioning and encourage her all the more. Keep on reminding her that labor is almost over and that the baby is almost here.
- Offer sips water, ice chips and juice.
- Cool washcloths on her face and neck will probably feel quite nice and reduce any feelings of illness.
- Offer a stress squeeze ball instead of your hand!
After labor and in the days that follow, there will be many highs and lows for both of you. The mother may be quite emotional as her hormones are sorting themselves out and she will be quite sore. Help with the baby as much as possible, and follow up on any of the household chores. Most importantly, despite the stress and the craziness that may be going on in your home for the next couple of weeks, be sure that both you and your partner take time to enjoy your baby – just the two of you.
photo by Kerryn du Plessis
