Back in the day, when my mother told me that my sister had been in the delivery room when I was born, I thought the woman was nuts. With all the grunting and blood and hullaballoo, I didn’t think that a delivery room was an appropriate place for a child.
When I asked my sister about it (who is old enough to remember it clearly) she told me it was actually “fun” for her.
“Yeah, I almost felt like I was the one giving birth to you, in a weird way,” she told me. “I felt connected to you from the very beginning. It definitely made sharing a room with you easier!”
Huh. Maybe this whole having the sibling or siblings at the birth wasn’t such a bad idea after all. That being said, there are definitely some things that you need to take into consideration before you bring a child into the delivery room.
Consider your child’s maturity and temperament
In most instances, I would not consider a 2 or 3 year old to have the maturity to handle the birthing experience, but I would consider that maturity from an 8 to 10 year old, or a very mature 5 year old.
If your child is one who worries a lot, has trouble sleeping, and just tends to become upset quite easily, you may want to reconsider having him or her in the room.
Discuss what will happen beforehand – many times – and in great detail.
The birth experience scares many adults, never mind young children. It is important that, after you ask your child if they want to attend the birth of their brother or sister, you go into great detail about what they will witness, experience, and see. Yes, there will be blood. Yes, daddy will be busy and look worried. Yes, there will be a lot of people in the room. Make noises similar to those that you will when you are in labor so she knows that you’re “okay” despite the grunting (and possible screaming) and maybe watch a video or two together showing a baby being born.
Always remind them that if he or she changes their mind about being there, it’s okay.
Have a child escort.
Your child should be in the delivery room (whether in your home or at the hospital) accompanied by someone other than the father of the soon-to-be baby. Have a sister, grandmother or a good friend be with her at all times to soothe your child, explain what is going on, and to help her leave the room if she does become upset.
Lastly, consider your own feelings about having your child or children in the room. Labor and birth can be stressful enough for a mother. If you feel that having your other youngsters in the room with you would be distracting and a detriment to your birth, then explain this to any children that may want to attend the birth. Let them know that they can see the baby immediately after he or she is born.
photo by Stephen Fell
