We have watched the videos; we have read the books; we have attended the classes. Each and every one of us has the vision of our “perfect birth” and are coerced into writing down a “birth plan” before we enter the hospital on that exciting – but frightening – day.
I can remember mine, all right. As I dreamed up the most ideal situation, I jotted down instructions on how I would like to have a home “water birth” with my husband there and my parents waiting in another room. I, of course, silently pushed the baby from my loins (I imagined myself a bit sweaty and with mussed up hair; at least I was somewhat realistic) and the squealing, pink beauty was then in my arms.
Of course none of this happened.
After an acupuncture-induced labor, my labor came on hard and fast. The birthing tub that we had bought had a hole in it (I blame my industrious dog for that one) and we ran out of hot water so the bath tub in the washroom was useless. I was in so much pain I found it absolutely intolerable and, with my midwife’s blessing, I threw in the towel and went into the hospital for an epidural.
Do I regret not having a natural home birth as I had aspired to have? Not really. Though I can imagine just how amazing it is to have a natural birth at home, surrounded by your loved ones and all, it just wasn’t in the cards for me (at least not THIS time around; every pregnancy is different and who knows? Baby #2 may afford me this opportunity). It is important for us women to realize that the dream labor and birth we want to have probably will not play out the way we imagine.
I can almost assure you that your birth plan and labor ideas will not work out as flawlessly and perfectly as you have been envisioning for the past several months. We must realize that THINGS WILL CHANGE. Listen to your body, and go with the flow. If you planned a home birth like me and ended up in a birthing center or a hospital and had drugs to tame the pain, so be it. If you had your heart set on having a vaginal delivery but, due to unforeseen circumstances had to have a c-section, that’s the way it was meant to be. How your baby was born is not the important part; the important part is that both you and baby are happy and healthy at the end.
photo by Oriol Martinez
