Fertility after Childbirth: When you’re Ready but Your Body’s Not (and Vice Versa)

Many parents dream of having two babies within just a year or two from each other, believing that this will allow them to form a closer and stronger bond with one another. Some mothers just want to get the whole pregnancy ordeal off of their “job list” and push a couple kids out as fast as they can!

Then there are other mothers who are not quite so keen on becoming pregnant again and enjoy the few period-free months they have.

“And then it came back after my son was 4 months old,” loathes my friend over a cup of coffee. “Everything I read said I had up to 6 months!”

Don't believe everything you read

Don’t believe everything you read, especially when it comes to your period. There are some general guidelines for you to follow. First, if you are breastfeeding, you have a far better chance of NOT getting your period than a mom who has switched to formula or an alternative feeding method. Breastfeeding releases a hormone in our body that “suppresses” fertility – meaning, if you’re breastfeeding, you may have quite a bit more difficulty becoming pregnant again if that’s what you’re aiming for (this is referred to as lactational amenorrhea, aka “breastfeeding infertility”).

Breastfeeding and other signs

Second, if you ARE exclusively breastfeeding and your child is under 6 months in age, this is as good as taking any form of birth control. Keep these key factors in mind when assessing when you may become (more) fertile again:

• Your baby is starting to eat solid foods, thus reducing the amounts of breastfeeding
• You return to work and spend less time around your baby
• Your baby sleeps through the night – or at least for much longer periods (6+ hours)
• Your baby uses a bottle or a pacifier for ANY REASON

Infertility while breastfeeding

It is important to understand that, even though your heart may be set on having two babies immediately within a short time frame, this period of infertility allows you as a mother to repair from the first birth and also for you to nurture, properly feed, and bond with your first little baby. Being “infertile” while breastfeeding is NOT a mistake; it’s a biological plan that ensures the survival of your baby. This is why many mothers practice what is called “ecological breastfeeding”.

Ecological breastfeeding is regarded as a “natural spacing” of children, whereby mothers are fertile when their bodies allow them to be fertile again! These moms typically exclusively breastfeed for the first six months of their baby’s life (if not longer) and after that point in time leave it to the fertility gods as to whether or not they will have another baby again.

How do I know when I'm fertile again?

So how do you know when you’re fertile again? Most moms will tell you that they have not gotten pregnant before they have their “warning period” (the first “real” period after having baby; note that the 4-6 weeks after the birth of your baby is not considered a period). That being said, there are some mommies that have gotten pregnant even though they are exclusively breastfeeding during those first 6 months, and even though they have not had their warning period. Because of this, if you certainly are not ready to have another baby at any point, consider using birth control methods such as condoms for pregnancy prevention (do NOT take birth control prior to speaking to your doctor; most forms of birth control are absolutely inappropriate and unsafe while breastfeeding your child).

And to my friend who found herself menstruating again after only a few short months, I say to you, every woman is different! The bulk of women see the return of their period any where from when their child is 6 months to 18 months in age, but there are those who see it return before or afterwards. Remind yourself that your body has brought a beautiful baby into this world and pat your body on the back – she deserves it.