Merry Christmas

This Christmas I decided to give my children my office. I'm completely redecorating with desks and bookshelves, lots if space for school projects and floor to ceiling whiteboards. It's costing more money than I have, but it really has to be done. My kids are all disorganized and struggling at school.

I openly stressed about the money to my mother who is in town for the holidays. She wasted no time telling me I was selfish and if she had to choose between spending money on herself or money on her children, she and dad would forgo whatever luxury and give to the kids.

I thought this was nonsense - only in that I'm not giving myself anything. But my mom from another generation didn't see that. She saw a redecorating opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Which then got me thinking about the sacrifice.

It's a hard thing to give up your office. It's giving up on a dream of independence and self control. Autonomy really. It's also the office where my now ex-husband and I started a business and subsequently had loads of arguments about the failure of that business and eventually the marriage. My point really is that this is a loss and not an indulgence.

I don't argue with my mom, but she's wrong. This is a bittersweet transition. My kids need a study room not a play room that's a difficult thing to think about too. No longer little boys who are all about play time.

In any case, it's a time of transition. Merry Christmas and surely - this will be a Happy New Year.