Meditating
Mamas
By Bria Simpson
To
maintain sanity in such an era, we may have to become intimate
with stillness ... If it is healing for us when faced with life-threatening
and chronic diseases, how can it not be healing for us in the
face of the disease of feeling totally and chronically overwhelmed
and bereft, that our lives are somehow unfolding faster than
the nervous system and psyche are able to manage well.
— Jon Kabat-Zin
If
we want to enjoy our daily lives, it is exceptionally helpful
to slow down for part of the day and focus on your breath. Research
has shown that periods of meditation — of focusing on your
breath — helps us transcend worries, lowers our anxiety,
diminishes depression and increases clarity. Meditation balances
our moods and enhances our ability to connect fully with who we
are.
Does
this sound hokey? I understand if it does. It used to, for me
— before I added meditation and yoga into my life. I thought
that people who sat around just to breathe must be seriously lacking
stimulation in their life. But that was then ... I now reign myself
in from cultish-type behavior of hounding other people to do some
kind of meditation or yoga. I worry about the effects that the
high level of stress and constant activity in our culture has
on our children and on ourselves. And I revel in the benefits
of meditation and yoga and want others to enjoy the benefits as
well.
Beginning
to meditate
When you meditate, at first, you may not notice much. You may
be telling yourself, "Aha! I was right. Only really weird
people meditate. I'm not getting anything out of this because
I am simply not really weird!" You may try so hard to "get
it right" that you are missing the point — to relax
and be in the moment. In our western culture, we are so programmed
to believe that without "doing," we are wasting our
time. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The
benefits of meditation are powerful. It becomes easier to let
go of judgment. You start to feel better and the small stuff begins
to appear just as it really is: small. Friends may even start
to ask you how you handle all the stresses in life so well. One
day you wake up and say, “Wow! I am actually a calmer person.”
If you come from a life in overdrive, as I have, that is a real
accomplishment.
The
meditating mama
The primary objective of meditation is to focus on your breath.
The thoughts are still there — dinner still has to be made
or bought and that person who was rude to you may still annoy
you. Just let the thoughts wash over you and come back to your
breath.
A
few tips on becoming a meditating mama:
•
Find a quiet place to meditate. Unplug your phone and make sure
you won't be interrupted by anyone.
• Sit in a comfortable, upright position cross-legged,
or lie flat on your back on the floor. Many people who know
a more than I do about meditation prefer sitting. I am just
much more comfortable and relaxed lying down, so that is what
I do.
• Close your eyes, take three or four deep breaths and
then start to breathe gently. Let your thoughts drift away and
focus on your breath.
• As your thoughts jump around, come back to your breath.
• Start with five minutes a day and try to build up to
at least 15 minutes a day. Meditating gets easier with practice.
• In the unofficial Bria version, if you fall asleep,
that's okay — because you need it. I was relieved recently
to hear Mr. Kabat-Zin, a guru on the subject, agree with this
theory. He believes that you will sleep more peacefully if you
start in this manner, and I couldn't agree more! (So if you
are prone to falling asleep, set a gentle music type of alarm
clock when you need to wake up).
• Create a regular time in your schedule to meditate.
Generally, first thing in the morning, during children's naptime
or before bed works best. Schedule it and commit to meditating
at least three times a week.
• Consider writing in a journal for a few minutes after
you meditate. You may come out of meditation with more clarity.
Sometimes it's helpful to jot down your thoughts. They are usually
meaningful ones that may help guide you in some way.
That's
it! Meditating is really not hard, and it's actually not all that
weird. If you are still resistant, or just prefer a more physical
approach to relaxation and connection with your true self, try
yoga. Sometimes starting with yoga will lead you to periods of
meditation. So open your mind and remember: you don't have to
tell a soul!
© Bria Simpson
Bria Simpson specializes in helping
moms strengthen and balance their family lives while rediscovering
their own passions and interests. For a free sample coaching session,
visit her web site at http://www.briacoach.com
or e-mail bria@briacoach.com.
