Getting Kids to Organize Themselves
By Colleen Langenfeld
The school year is in full swing
again in many places -- and with it, another opportunity to make
the days run a bit smoother than they did before. Like most parents,
I've discovered there are a handful of challenges each year that
need to be addressed to make for a productive, successful school
year.
Do any of these scenarios ring
true for your family, too?
If something's bugging
you, it needs fixing! If each year you find yourself
nagging about the same issues, pay attention! Sit down and figure
out what's really going on, then formulate some different approaches
until you're seeing tangible improvements.
Lay out expectations clearly.
Whether my kids are 7 or 17 (and I've had both), they deserve
to know what is expected of them up front. They will develop more
confidence and live up to their responsibilities more often if
given a clear game plan to follow that's appropriate to their
age and abilities -- in other words, not too hard but definitely
a stretch. Such a plan, followed through on, will make them feel
great about themselves.
Make sure everyone's in
charge of themselves, then give them the tools they'll
need to live up to their responsibilities. Reward appropriately
when they follow through. A son who doesn't have his own alarm
clock is not likely to even try to get up on his own. Want your
daughter to make her own lunch? Make sure you have the healthy
food on hand she needs to get the job done.
Everyone needs a space:
a space for homework, studying and stuff, a place to dream as
well as to work. It doesn't need to be fancy, big or expensive,
but it should be kept neat and reasonably organized. Encourage
your kids to take pride in their accomplishments and take care
of their possessions. Yes, this requires discipline. That's the
point.
Set limits. Children
needs boundaries, no matter what they say. When teachers set homework
deadlines, back them up at home. Chores, curfews, bedtimes, TV/computer
time and regular schedules all are tools parents can use to teach
self-discipline and respect for others.
Do unto others ...
If sibling rivalry is approaching a severe level in your home,
perhaps a season on the Kindness Team would be valuable. Like
most sports, this requires daily practice, coaching and a team
approach. Drills are vital. You can track progress through a simple
scoring procedure and you'll see real results in no time.
Am I confusing you? Let me spell
it out: nagging never works to get kids to be kind to each other,
but make a game of it (literally) and you will see progress. Be
creative and enlist your “team's” aid. Then point
out at every opportunity how much better daily life is when people
are getting along. This is an ongoing learning activity, and one
they'll take with them for the rest of their lives.
These are some of the challenges
in our family that often seem to crop up each new school year.
Watching our children mature is a true joy, but definitely not
one that comes without cost. Both parents and children have a
part to play in this engaging drama. This year, make your parenting
efforts pay off and use your energies to make lasting changes
in your home!
© Colleen Langenfeld
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