Give Your Kids Chores!
By Mark Brandenburg
You have a chore to do around the
house, and your kids want to help out somehow. You know that it
might be nice for them to help, but you're feeling a bit impatient.
And you know that it might turn into a two-hour project and there
might be a big mess to clean up … a mess that could be avoided
if you did it yourself.
We've all been there, haven't we?
It can be so much easier to do
the household chores and projects without the assistance from
your little friends. After all, who's got the time in today's
world to make a project longer than it needs to be?
You do.
Research supports it: Chores
are relevant
Why is it important to include your kids in household tasks? Once
in a while there is some research that unveils something that's
so important and relevant that it screams for parents to hear
it.
Researcher Marty Rossman at the
University of Minnesota studied a group of young adults from the
time they were young children. The startling results of the study
were that the young adults who had participated in household chores
when they were ages 3 and 4 were more successful as adults than
those who didn't. Specifically, these young adults were more likely
to complete their education, get a good start on a career, develop
adult relationships and avoid the use of drugs.
The early participation in household
chores was deemed more important in their success than any other
factor, including IQ. On the other hand, if children did not begin
participating in household chores until they were teenagers, the
experience seemed to backfire and had a negative effect on their
success as young adults, using those same measures.
You can do it!
What does this research really mean? When your young kids feel
as though their dad or mom believes they're capable of handling
simple chores around the house, it is an incredibly powerful message
to them. “Dad believes I can do it!”
If your kids believe that's how
you feel about them as they go through life, you're a genius.
You'll also be the parent of confident, responsible, happy kids.
That's what you create when you choose to see your kids as capable
and you believe in them.
But it's not as easy as just seeing
them as capable. You also have to show patience with them when
they tackle chores. You can't take over for them when they struggle
or correct what they do. That only serves to undermine their confidence
and discourage them.
Imagine the difference you can
make with your kids by allowing them to participate in family
chores. Imagine the difference in your kids’ esteem level
that results from encouraging them rather than criticizing them.
You do have time to include your
kids in chores and projects at home. Tell every other father and
mother you know that they have time, too. It's too important not
to.
© Mark Brandenburg.
Mark Brandenburg,
MA, CPCC, CSC, is an author, speaker and certified relationship
coach. He has worked with individuals, teams and families to improve
their lives for more than 20 years.
He is the author of a number of books for men, including 25
Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers. Mark
coaches parents from around the country through weekly telephone
coaching sessions on balancing their lives and improving their
parenting. He runs workshops and gives presentations for fathers
and for parents that are enthusiastically received, as well as
teleclasses for parents at MarkBrandenburg.com.
