Question: My husband and I haven’t finished a complete
sentence since last July! Our children interrupt our conversations
constantly. Even while I’m asking them to wait until we’re
done talking, they’re busy interrupting my request! How
do I get them to stop interrupting us?
Elizabeth Pantley replies:
Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but in the same breath,
they respond to the child’s interrupted request! Interrupting
is habit forming. Like many annoying behaviors, once kids figure
out that they can “get away with it,” the behavior
will continue.
• Teach.
Teach your child how to determine if something warrants an interruption.
Children often are so focused on their own needs that they don’t
really absorb the fact that they’re being rude. Teach your
child to wait for a pause in the conversation and to say, “Excuse
me.” When she does this, respond positively. If the interruption
is of a nature that it can and should wait, politely inform your
child of this and then continue talking.
• Use “The Squeeze.” Tell your
child that if she wants something when you are talking to another
adult, she should walk up to you and gently squeeze your arm.
You will then squeeze her hand to indicate that you know she is
there and will be with her in a minute. At first, respond rather
quickly so your child can see the success of this method. Over
time you can wait longer, just give a gentle squeeze every few
minutes to remind your child that you remember the request.
• Give clear messages. Pause, look your
child in the eye and say, “I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Then turn your face, body and attention away from your child.
Do not engage your child with repeated pleas for her to stop.
If your child continues to interrupt, motion to the person you’re
talking with to walk away with you.
• Praise good manners. Praise your child
for using good manners, remembering to say “excuse me”
and for interrupting only for a valid reason.
© Elizabeth Pantley; excerpted
from Perfect
Parenting, The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips
Parenting educator
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of numerous parenting books, including
the widely cited The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to
Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night. Buy her books at
Powells.com.
She is a regular radio show
guest and is quoted frequently on the web and in national family
and women’s publications. Elizabeth lives in Washington
state with her husband, their four children and her mother. Visit
her at www.pantley.com/elizabeth.
