How
(and Why) to Teach Kids to Care
By SixWise.com
Raising caring kids is a goal most parents strive for — and
one that's becoming increasingly challenging given the violence,
in media and real life that children are inevitably exposed to
these days. There is some good news, though. While researchers
once believed that kids had to learn to care, it seems they may
possess this ability even as toddlers.
One study found that children as young as 21 months show signs
of empathy when their parents are upset (crying or arguing).
Another study, this one published in the American Psychological
Association's (APA) Developmental Psychology journal,
found that even young children who are aggressive and disruptive
show "concern for the welfare of others."
A caring heart
However, the startling finding is that this concern can decrease
as children reach school age. What has the potential to affect
a child's caring for the better? Warm and supportive parenting.
As the study's authors pointed out, negative parenting can
have the opposite effect.
"Our results … show important links between parenting style
and children's prosocial development. … The present results
clearly suggest that mothers who are overly strict and harshly
punitive, who do not tend to reason or establish reasonable
and consistent rules, and who strongly show their anger or
disappointment
with their children are likely to impede their children's prosocial
development," reads the study.
Fortunately, as a parent you don't have to just sit back and
hope that your child turns out to be a compassionate, caring
individual who shows concern for the welfare of others. You
can take the following steps to actively ensure that your child
grows
into a caring adult.
7 steps toward softer hearts
1. Teach your child the importance of charity. Every so often,
go through your closets and drawers to find clothing you don't
wear anymore or toys that are no longer used. Have your children
do the same. Donate the items to Goodwill or the Salvation
Army and explain to your kids that their donation will go to
someone
in need. Other methods include traveling to nursing homes to
visit an elderly "grandparent" or volunteering at a
local homeless shelter as a family.
Children should also be encouraged to donate a portion of their
allowance. The award-winning Money Savvy Pig is an excellent
tool to help them do this. Much more than an ordinary piggy
bank, the Money Savvy Pig has four chambers, one for each of
the "money
choices" that children have when they earn or receive money:
save, spend, donate or invest.
It's up to them to decide how much should be "donated," and
as a parent, you can monitor their donations and discuss their
importance. Children can then decide where to donate their money
(for instance, to a local humane society, a charity of their
choice or buying toys for needy kids).
2. Let your kids know what type of behavior you like
and what you don't. If you spot your child doing something not so nice,
let her know. But rather than saying, "You're not nice," (which
could hurt her personally) say something like, "When you
took your brother's toy, it made him cry. That wasn't a very
nice thing to do. I'd like it if you shared your toys with him,
and I think he'd like it too." If your children learn that
caring behaviors are important to you, these behaviors are likely
to become important to your kids, too.
3. Be caring, yourself. Children learn by watching others,
which means that if you're caring to others (and to your children),
your kids are likely to be also. Take time to help an elderly
neighbor plant flowers, volunteer your time to tutor needy
kids
after school or say hello to a homeless person. Whenever possible,
involve your kids as well and point out to them how something
as simple as a caring word or smile can brighten someone else's
day.
4. Teach your child to respect all living things. Taking a
stray animal to a shelter or feeding ducks in a pond can help
your
child learn the concept of respecting others. It's also important
to let your child know that you respect him, and praise him
when he does something kind.
5. Expose your child to books and TV that teach caring. Many
books and TV programs can encourage caring in kids. Take your
child to your local library and let her choose some on her
own (or ask the librarian for help). You may also want to limit
the
amount of violent TV your child watches; a study by the National
Institute of Mental Health found that kids who see kindness
on TV may imitate it, so the same may also hold true for violence.
6. Let your child nurture. Giving kids a chance to take care
of a younger sibling, pet or even a plant can help them learn
the importance of taking care of others and how good it feels
to do something nice for another person or animal.
7. Encourage kids to "contribute" their own special
talents. Everyone has unique talents, and letting kids share
theirs will increase their sense of self-worth while instilling
in them the importance of giving. For instance, if your older
child is gifted at music, encourage him to donate music lessons
to the needy, or if your child is an honor student, encourage
him to tutor kids after school.
©
SixWise.com
Reprinted
with permission from the SixWise.com Security & Wellness
e-newsletter http://www.sixwise.com
