Question: My neighbor’s kids drive me crazy with
their misbehavior! I know I can’t discipline the kids, but
I want to be able to enjoy my time with their family. Help!
Elizabeth Pantley responds:
What to do? Here are a few ideas that may help:
Spend
more time on your turf. When possible, meet at
your home. Let all the kids know exactly what your expectations
are. In other words, My house, my rules. Be kind and
friendly but firm: “Hugo, in this house we don’t jump
on the sofa.” Often, kids who misbehave at home will behave
correctly when given rules to follow at your house.
Stick
to the current problem. Don’t try to raise
other people’s kids. Focus on the specific issue at hand.
Find a solution to the problem only to the extent necessary to
make things run smoothly where your children or your property
is involved.
Don’t
stew and mumble. It’s easy to gripe and
complain about a kid’s behavior. It doesn’t solve
anything. Instead, avoid accusing or blaming. Simply state the
problem and suggest solutions. Once you have a plan, calmly follow
through.
Let
them handle it. Memorize this line: “They’re
not my kids.” Allow the parents to deal with the misbehavior
(or not deal with it, as the case may be). Step in only to protect
your kids or your property.
Visit
without the kids. Do you enjoy the parents but
dread time spent with their kids? Arrange for more visits to occur
when the kids are in school or otherwise occupied. Or meet at
adult-oriented activities where the kids will need to be left
home with a babysitter.
Pick
your battles. Ignore the petty stuff, focus on
the important things and be thankful your own children are well
behaved.
© Elizabeth Pantley; excerpted
from Parent Tips, Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation
Parenting educator Elizabeth Pantley
is the author of numerous parenting books, including the widely
cited The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your
Baby Sleep Through the Night. Buy her books at Powells.com.
She is a regular radio show
guest and is quoted frequently on the web and in national family
and women’s publications. Elizabeth lives in Washington
state with her husband, their four children and her mother. Visit
her at www.pantley.com/elizabeth.
Other Natural
Family Living Articles
