Stop the Diaper Changing Battles
By Elizabeth Pantley
Babies are little bundles of energy!
They don’t
want to lie still to have their diapers changed. They cry,
fuss or even
crawl away. A simple issue can turn into a major tug-of-war between
parent and baby.
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Diaper changing as a ritual
The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is
perfect for creating a bonding experience between you.
You are leaning
over your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length
distance for engaging eye contact and communication.
What’s more,
this golden opportunity presents itself many times during each
day; no matter how busy you both get, you have a few moments
of quiet connection. It’s too valuable a ritual to treat
it as simply maintenance.
Learning about your baby
Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb
your baby’s cues and signals. You’ll learn how his
little body works, what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose
bumps. As you lift, move and touch your baby, your hands will
learn the map of his body and what’s normal for him.
This is important because it will enable you to easily decipher
any
physical changes that need attention.
Developing trust
Regular diaper changes create rhythm in your baby’s world
and afford the sense that the world is safe and dependable.
They are regular and consistent episodes in days that may not
always
be predictable. Your loving touches teach your baby that he
is valued, and your gentle care teaches him that he is respected.
A learning experience for your baby
Your baby does a lot of learning during diaper changes.
It’s
one of the few times that she actually sees her own body without
clothes, when she can feel her complete movements without a
wad of diaper between her legs. Diaper-off time is a great
chance
for her to stretch her limbs and learn how they move.
During changing time, your baby is also a captive audience
to your voice, so she can focus on what you are saying and
how you
are saying it — an important component of her language
learning process. Likewise, for a precious few minutes, you are
her captive audience, so you can focus on what she’s saying
and how she is saying it — crucial to the growth of your
relationship.
What your baby thinks and feels
Many active babies could not care less if their diapers are
clean. They’re too busy to concern themselves with such trivial
issues. It may be important to you, but it’s not a priority
for your child.
Diaper rash or uncomfortable diapers (wrong size or bad fit)
can make him dread diaper changes, so check these first. Once
you’re sure all the practical issues are covered, make
a few adjustments in this unavoidable process to make it more
enjoyable.
Take a deep breath
Given the number of diapers you have to change, it’s possible
that what used to be a pleasant experience for you has gotten
to be routine -- or even worse, a hassle. When parents approach
diaper changing in a brisk, no-nonsense way, it isn’t
any fun for your baby. Try to reconnect with the bonding experience
that diaper changing can be -- a moment of calm in a busy day
when you share one-on-one time with your baby.
Have some fun
This is a great time to sing songs, blow tummy raspberries
or do some tickle and play. A little fun might take the dread
out
of diaper changes for both of you. A game that stays fresh
for a long time is “hide the diaper.” Put a new diaper
on your head, on your shoulder, or tucked in your shirt and ask, “Where’s
the diaper? I can’t find it!” A fun twist is to
give the diaper a name and a silly voice, and use it as a puppet.
Let the diaper call your child to the changing station and
have
it talk to him as you change it. (If you get tired of making
Mr. Diaper talk, just remember what it was like before you
tried the idea.)
Use distraction
Keep a flashlight with your changing supplies and let your
baby play with it while you change him. Some kids’ flashlights
have a button to change the color of the light, or shape of the
ray. Call this his “diaper flashlight” and put
it away when the change is complete. You may find a different
type
of special toy that appeals to your little one or even a basket
of small interesting toys. If you reserve these only for diaper
time, they can retain their novelty for a long time.
Try a stand-up diaper
If your baby’s diaper is just wet (not messy), try letting
her stand up while you do a quick change. If you’re using
cloth diapers, have one leg pre-pinned so that you can slide
it on like pants, or opt for pre-fitted diapers that don’t
require pins.
Time to potty train?
If your child is old enough and seems ready for the next step,
consider potty training.
© Elizabeth Pantley.
Excerpted from Gentle Baby Care.
Parenting educator
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of numerous parenting books, including
the widely cited The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to
Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night. Buy her books at
Powells.com.
She is a regular radio show
guest and is quoted frequently on the web and in national family
and women’s publications. Elizabeth lives in Washington
state with her husband, their four children and her mother. Visit
her at www.pantley.com/elizabeth.
