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Children's Feelings and Emotional Intelligence

A Call for Gentleness
The greatest source of danger to our human lives is, unfortunately, other humans. Our human species is unique in its ability to attack, decimate, maim and destroy itself. It requires little effort for us to kill one another or ourselves.

Using Guided Imagery With Your Child
Guided imagery is a dynamic way to increase a child’s chances for successful development of inner talents and personal resources. Parents, teachers and other service providers can use imagery with confidence to increase a child’s mental focus, help clarify values, increase study efficiency or instill other successful traits.

How (and Why) to Teach Kids to Care
Raising caring kids is a goal most parents strive for — and one that's becoming increasingly challenging given the violence, in media and real life that children are inevitably exposed to these days. There is some good news, though. While researchers once believed that kids had to learn to care, it seems they may possess this ability even as toddlers.

Build Life Skills With Music
Love, respect and appreciation for music are easy to share with our children and build life skills at the same time. During the first years of our child’s life, musical skills build self-esteem and enhance expression. Musical rhythms spur motor development. Learning melodies and words stimulates listening capacity and help children develop receptive language.

Look At It From A Kid’s-Eye View
It's quite easy for most fathers to look at their kids with a critical eye. And why not? There's a lot riding on the outcome of your kids' development. There's the nagging worry that you're not doing your job well enough and that your child will develop "problems." There's also the fear of being judged as an incompetent or uninvolved father by others. And there's the relentless presence of your children, making mistakes by the truckload while you watch.

What Do You Do When Your Kid is “Acting Up”?
There were probably good reasons why men were the ones who were out hunting big game for dinner while their wives stayed at home, many centuries ago. One reason is that men probably threw spears with a little better velocity. Another is that women seem a bit more comfortable in the midst of the emotional turmoil that constitutes family life.

Fathers, Sons and Masculinity
My 5-year-old son had a quirky smile that showed a mixture of pride and anticipation. He'd shown me his art project from school, and he was waiting for his mom. "Come on over and look at what Michael made," I shouted to my wife. Michael ran out of the room crying. I was filled with visions of a son who was incapable of dealing with the challenges and frustrations of daily living. And I felt the responsibility of showing him how to be "tough enough" to live in a world that delivers plenty of tough times. At the moment, I felt like I was failing badly.

Let Kids Be Kids
I once heard a mom say, “My husband loves being a dad. He’s just like a kid again. He knows all the cartoons and action figures.” Is that what parents think being a kid is? Power Rangers and Rug Rats? What about imagination, creativity, curiosity? What about letting a kid just be a kid? I think we push our kids to grow up too fast. We bombard them with learning-based toys. We brag to our friends that our child can count to 10 and recite the alphabet by age 2. We dress them as little adults. We reward their precociousness. We’re embarrassed when they act like babies. We fill their calendars with gymnastics, soccer and music classes.

TV and Your Toddler’s Attention Span
But you won't see an outcry from the mass media giants in this country. You see, we live in the country where "Why TV is Good for Kids" appeared as the cover story in Newsweek Magazine in 2002 — the same Newsweek Magazine that's owned by the Washington Post Company, which owns a sprawling cable company and six broadcast stations around the country.
No, you won't hear too much about these important studies from the Time-Warners of the world. Bad for business, you see. But if you're the parent of a young child, it's much more than that. It's the possibility of permanently affecting your child's health.

Helping Kids Cope with Trauma
Whether after a personal trauma or a national tragedy like 9/11, our children suffer. Whether their suffering manifests as overt misbehavior or in quiet reticence, we can help children cope so they do not feel alone. While we cannot shield children's innocence, we can help them feel safe. Some symptoms of trauma are immediate, and other symptoms may not show themselves for months or years. Because we care for our children, the task before us is to watch for symptoms and choose an appropriate response. Our responses may be verbal, but more often our assistance can simply be nonverbal and supportive.

Find Your Child’s Personal Style
Every morning, six-year-old Josh and his mom clash at breakfast just as Mom is ready to walk out the door. A daydreamer by nature, Josh moves through life at a slower pace than his task-oriented mom, who values organization. Their distinct ways of relating to the world reveal their obviously different personal styles. When parents can communicate and interact in ways that fit their children’s unique styles, there is harmony in the home. Both parents and children develop confidence and self-esteem.

Are violent movies, video games, and television programs harmful to my child’s education?
The answer is “yes” — experts agree that violent media is harmful to children and their education. Education is the act of acquiring knowledge; therefore, any activity that impedes this knowledge acquisition is undesirable and problematic. There are many factors that contribute to a child’s education, but popular media such as movies, video games and television are profoundly influential because statistics show that the average child spends more time in these activities above all other activities except for sleep.

Our two boys, ages 7 and 9, are constantly fighting. The only thing that works is to separate them — my wife is with one, and I take the other. It's driving us nuts. Do you have any suggestions? Siblings will naturally vie for their parents’ attention, and fighting will be a part of that. It is completely normal. The problem with separating them too much is that they won't learn some of the skills that will help them to get along in the future.

In Us We Trust
It is so primal, this thing called trust, and so basic to our survival. Without trust, could we attach to one another? Could we love? Lie in another person’s arms? Dare to procreate? Could we forge societies and build institutions? Speak and believe that we’ve been heard? Would we set up housekeeping? Trade one thing for another? Would we freely slip away to conjecture, to wonder, to dream? We’d be at war every day of our lives if we didn’t trust. We’d be anxious, jumpy people. We’d be on-guard, fenced-in solitaires — withered souls with narrowed eyes.

10 Reasons to Tell Your Kids Stories
In today’s busy world, many parents have lost the art of telling their stories to their kids. Don't pass up the opportunity to connect with your kids at the same time you tell them what's important to you. It will be a huge gift to your kids, and a huge gift to you.

Redefining "Grounding" for Your Teens
I invite you to ground yourself in love and compassion. For thousands of years, great, grounded teachers have exemplified the power of love and compassion to generate happiness and to feel the joy of being alive. Ground yourself in love and compassion, and you will feel that same joy.

Build Your Child’s Emotional Toolkit
Let’s explore how to teach basic, essential psychological skills that all children need, such as being able to let go of upsetting experiences or take in positive ones.

Friendships in Middle School
Children with friends in middle school appear to do better than children without a reciprocated friendship (i.e., where the friendship goes both ways and is not just one-sided). A longitudinal study of 242 middle school students evaluated the relationship between friendship and social and academic measures.

What You Say and What Your Children Hear: Why There’s A Difference
Ever wonder what happens when your young children respond in unexpected ways to the words you say? It’s because the words they hear differ from the emotional messages they receive at the same time. Consequently, they feel mixed up, so their responses are mixed up.

Helping Kids Cope With News of War
Every generation has had its share of scary news and frightening headlines. My mother still recalls air raid drills and having to practice ducking under her desk at school. Shortly thereafter, we had headlines from the war in Vietnam. My generation dealt with the Cold War, with its terrifying prospect of nuclear weapons.

Using hypnosis techniques for supportive parenting
A more accurate description of hypnosis would be to call it a heightened state of relaxation. The hypnotist simply says words that allow you to become more relaxed than usual.

10 Ways to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
Parents can often be frustrated by their kids' unwillingness to share their lives with them. Whether your kids are toddlers or teens, there will be times when it's difficult to break through and find out what's really going on.

Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is the best way to ensure that they live a happy, successful and responsible life as an adult.

Winds of Change - Families Facing Changes
More important (but still common) changes occur when a family member takes on a new role. These changes include promotions or a job change; a man or woman’s becoming a spouse; a spouse’s becoming a parent; or a parent’s becoming a grandparent.

Be Smart With Your Children’s Feelings
All of you have heard about how important it is to "honor your children's feelings." While this seems like a worthy endeavor, it's a fairly vague notion and can easily be dismissed, especially when your child is crying or whining.

How You Can Teach Your Child Respect
Parenting advice to teach your child how to be respectful

Teaching Responsibility - Responsible Children
Enjoy 10 parenting tips to raise more responsible children

Raising Emotionally Intelligent Sons
Men generally haven't received the training in "emotional intelligence" that women have. They have a harder time identifying their own feelings as well as the feelings of others. They have been trained from an early age to learn that being tough is more important than showing feelings.

Teaching our Children By Example
Don't just tell your child how to be a good person, show them through your own actions. This piece discusses one daughter teaching her father this important lesson when he tried to tell her to give selflessly to charity.

The Hidden Messages of Parenting
What we say and what children hear can be very different and damaging.

Raising Strong Daughters- Raising Girls
Raising a daughter creates different issues for many fathers; it's even more challenging considering the cultural landscape that exists today.

What is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment Parenting: Is It For You? 
What is Attachment Parenting?
The Science of Attachment
The Chemistry of Attachment

Long Term Attachment Parenting
What exactly is “attachment parenting” as it applies to all ages?

Siblings Articles and Sibling Rivalry

Siblings Fighting
Tips to Build Sibling Attachment
Siblings at the Baby’s Birth?
How do we know if we’re ready to have another baby?
How to Help Your Marriage Survive a New Baby


Natural Parenting

Pitching In: Simple Ways to Get Your Family Involved
When Your Parenting Comes Under Fire
Should Both Parents Work? Should One Stay at Home?
Playdates for Parents
Is it ok to spoil your kids?
Unplugging your family


Natural Fathering Articles

10 Reasons to Tell Your Kids Stories
Help Your Hubby Support Breastfeeding
Help For Overwhelmed Fathers
Natural Fathering - Save Memories of Your Children
Fathers, Tell Your Stories
Top 10 Common Sense Rules for Fathers

Parenting Stress

How to Help Your Marriage Survive a New Baby
When It’s More Than the “Baby Blues”
I Yelled at My Kids
My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!
Others ....

Positive Parenting Articles

10 Reasons to Tell Your Kids Stories
Getting Kids to Organize Themselves

Top 10 Ways to Keep Your Kids From Fighting
10 Ways to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
Give Your Kids Household Chores!
Encourage Children to Play Naturally
Getting Your Kids to Cooperate

Gentle Discipline Articles

Redefining "Grounding" for Your Teens
Give Your Kids the “N” Word

Keep Your Kids From Fighting - Fighting Kids - Fighting Siblings
Of Conflict and Control - Kid Discipline
To Spank Your Child or Not to Spank?

Get Your Toddler to Cooperate - Parenting Toddlers
Others ...

Attachment Parenting Articles

Create a Peaceful Home Sanctuary
Long Term Attachment Parenting

Can There Be Too Much? - Attachment Parenting
Parenting Style Differences

Caring vs. Caring Too Much
Learning All Day Long
Falling off the AP Wagon


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