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Call for Gentleness
greatest source of danger to our human lives is, unfortunately,
other humans. Our human species is unique in its ability to attack,
decimate, maim and destroy itself. It requires little effort for
us to kill one another or ourselves.
Books for New Brothers
new parent worries about their firstborn when they are expecting
their second child. They wonder if their oldest will feel left
out or unloved. They read articles about aggression and regression
and make plans to put off potty training.
Year’s Parenting Pledge
If you experience even a twinge of self-recognition
in this incident, it's time to make a solid resolution
as a parent. Ask yourself, "What resolution would
make the biggest difference in my parenting?"
Using Guided Imagery With Your Child
imagery is a dynamic way to increase a child’s chances
for successful development of inner talents and personal resources.
Parents, teachers and other service providers can use imagery
with confidence to increase a child’s mental focus, help
clarify values, increase study efficiency or instill other
the first week at my daughter's inclusive preschool (half kids
with special needs, half "typical" kids), the parents
tried to figure out who had the disabled kids and who didn't. No
one knew how to begin a conversation — we were afraid of
offending each other. We
found our common ground: we were all parents raising preschoolers.
Some of us had children who loved music, couldn't use the bathroom
yet or screamed when someone got too close. And some of us had
kids with disabilities.
Nurture: Letting Go
mom is dealing with so many feelings and needs and wants
in her children and partner that the stress builds up
over the course of a day. It's normal to feel like you
describe. Plus, many women have been taught various ways
to keep a stiff upper lip and not to say anything that
seems like a complaint, which just keeps things bottled
up and festering.
(and Why) to Teach Kids to Care
caring kids is a goal most parents strive for — and one
that's becoming increasingly challenging given the violence,
in media and real life that children are inevitably exposed
to these days. There is some good news, though. While researchers
once believed that kids had to learn to care, it seems they
may possess this ability even as toddlers.
Life Skills With Music
Love, respect and appreciation
for music are easy to share with our children and build life
skills at the same time. During the first years of our child’s
life, musical skills build self-esteem and enhance expression.
Musical rhythms spur motor development. Learning melodies and
words stimulates listening capacity and help children develop
Better Than Your Own Parents Did
Your parents undoubtedly failed you as parents.
All parents fail. No parent is ever adequate enough to provide
one child — let alone two or more — with enough
love, caring, support, wisdom or whatever to completely meet
his or her needs. Therefore, parents naturally fall short when
it comes to parenting. It is impossible to be a perfect parent.
We teach our children almost all the skills they need to become
doctors, engineers, plumbers, architects, truck drivers or
any one of the millions of jobs in the world. We usually don’t
a little planning and forethought, hiking with children can be
a fun and rewarding experience. Hiking is a wonderful way to help
them develop a love and respect for nature, stimulate their imagination
and encourage them to stay active.
we want to enjoy our daily lives, it is exceptionally helpful
to slow down for part of the day and focus on your breath. Research
has shown that periods of meditation — of focusing on your
breath — helps us transcend worries, lowers our anxiety,
diminishes depression and increases clarity. Meditation balances
our moods and enhances our ability to connect fully with who we
My Kid is Stealing!
One of the more common problems that we as parents
encounter (but that nobody likes to talk about) is what to do
when your child steals. There are a number of different reasons
children steal and a number of different ways to handle the problem.
Whatever the reason a child is stealing, parents need to approach
the problem with wisdom. If parents just react according to their
natural inclination, their response will almost certainly be wrong
Ways to Have Fun Outside
Are you looking for fresh ways to spend time with your friends
and family? Outdoor activities getting a little boring, are they?
With your fast-paced life gaining speed all the time, it’s
easy to stick to what’s familiar — but is that any
way to live? Let’s take a few minutes and look at how easy
it is to break out of the same-ole-routine and into the new with
wholesome activities near home and out of doors. Read on to see
why it’s tough to beat having fun with friends and family
outdoors in the fresh air.
are some frugal entertainment ideas for the whole family. This
is just the tip of the iceberg. Keep your eyes and ears open and
you will find many more opportunities to have fun with your family
without spending a lot of money.
10 Ways to Be a Better Father
expectations for fathers are increasing both at work and at home.
Here are 10 ways for fathers to be more effective in the most
important job they'll ever have. See your kids as capable. The
Achilles’ heel of many fathers is to see their kids as "not
good enough." Your kids will feel this, and they'll live
up to these expectations. The more you approve of them, the greater
At It From A Kid’s-Eye View
quite easy for most fathers to look at their kids with a critical
eye. And why not? There's a lot riding on the outcome of your
kids' development. There's the nagging worry that you're not doing
your job well enough and that your child will develop "problems."
There's also the fear of being judged as an incompetent or uninvolved
father by others. And there's the relentless presence of your
children, making mistakes by the truckload while you watch.
Sons and Masculinity
5-year-old son had a quirky smile that showed a mixture of pride
and anticipation. He'd shown me his art project from school, and
he was waiting for his mom. "Come on over and look at what
Michael made," I shouted to my wife. Michael ran out of the
room crying. I was filled with visions of a son who was incapable
of dealing with the challenges and frustrations of daily living.
And I felt the responsibility of showing him how to be "tough
enough" to live in a world that delivers plenty of tough
times. At the moment, I felt like I was failing badly.
Do You Do When Your Kid is “Acting Up”?
were probably good reasons why men were the ones who were out
hunting big game for dinner while their wives stayed at home,
many centuries ago. One reason is that men probably threw spears
with a little better velocity. Another is that women seem a bit
more comfortable in the midst of the emotional turmoil that constitutes
I came through the door after a challenging day of work, the tornado
began. "Daddy's home!" My kids wanted to share their
day and their artwork, and my wife wanted to share how difficult
her day had been. I wanted to lie down on the couch and be left
alone. And this same scenario is happening all over the country
with fathers (or mothers) and their families. Families are converging
on each other at the end of the day with wildly different needs
and moods. The result can be hurt feelings and distance between
Kids Be Kids
I once heard a mom say, “My
husband loves being a dad. He’s just like a kid again. He
knows all the cartoons and action figures.” Is that what
parents think being a kid is? Power Rangers and Rug Rats? What
about imagination, creativity, curiosity? What about letting a
kid just be a kid? I think we push our kids to grow up too fast.
We bombard them with learning-based toys. We brag to our friends
that our child can count to 10 and recite the alphabet by age
2. We dress them as little adults. We reward their precociousness.
We’re embarrassed when they act like babies. We fill their
calendars with gymnastics, soccer and music classes.
Ways to Make It Better
All mommies everywhere kiss
owies to make them better, but I've learned a few other fun ways
to make things better. My friend Trevi taught me about throwing
owies in the street. When her daughter Simone was hurt or sad,
she would scoop up the imaginary owie and dramatically fling it
toward the window. She'd shout at it and make a grand scene of
chastising it. It worked every time.
Kids Cope with Trauma
Whether after a personal trauma or a national tragedy
like 9/11, our children suffer. Whether their suffering manifests
as overt misbehavior or in quiet reticence, we can help children
cope so they do not feel alone. While we cannot shield children's
innocence, we can help them feel safe. Some symptoms of trauma
are immediate, and other symptoms may not show themselves for
months or years. Because we care for our children, the task before
us is to watch for symptoms and choose an appropriate response.
Our responses may be verbal, but more often our assistance can
simply be nonverbal and supportive.
Your Child’s Personal Style
six-year-old Josh and his mom clash at breakfast just as
Mom is ready to walk out the door. A daydreamer by nature,
Josh moves through life at a slower pace than his task-oriented
mom, who values organization. Their distinct ways of relating
to the world reveal their obviously different personal
parents can communicate and interact in ways that fit their
children’s unique styles, there is harmony in the
home. Both parents and children develop confidence and
CAN Influence Your Teens Attitudes About Sex
would agree that they don’t want their middle- or high-schoolers
to become sexually active. Teen sex can pose irreversible consequences
including significant health risks, social and emotional effects
and pregnancy. Sexually active girls are predisposed to genital
tract infections, cervical cancer and pre-cancerous lesions. For
boys, unprotected intercourse increases the chances of prostate
and urethral infections.
an Infant: Are You Kidding?
The thought of disciplining a child in the first
year of life seems wrong or even ridiculous. Yet every time an
infant reaches up to tug his mother's hair and she gently removes
his grasp, or when he pulls an unsafe object to his mouth and
she intervenes, that's setting limits, that's redirecting, that's
guidance — and yes, that's discipline. Effective discipline
is not punishment. It's teaching. Discipline really starts from
Massage From A-Z
Baby massage has
been practiced since ancient times. It can be as simple as a gentle
rub with lotion after a bath or a more practiced infant massage.
The benefits are many for both baby and parent. You can, and should,
massage a child of any age from newborn to adulthood. Children
learn much about the power of gentle touch. There's something
very special about spending a little time giving your teenager
a backrub or foot massage. It maintains a beautiful parent-child
connection throughout a lifetime.
more Time, Energy and Money!
Time, energy and money are chronically lacking
in parents’ lives. They are too tired because their children
keep them up at night, they are strapped for time between juggling
work and family, and they spend all their resources on their kids,
the house, the car and the mortgage. Everybody
has a dream. Whether you know it or not, at one time you dreamed
all the time. As children grow, their imaginations grow with them.
Then they become adults, and the reality of the world sets in.
Have you forgotten how to dream? Do you feel as if you have no
time to breath, much less make your dreams reality?
Family That Eats Together Stays Together
You often hear that families
should eat together. What evidence is there that this is a good
thing? A recent study suggests that family meals might increase
adolescents’ well-being. Middle school (n=1608) and high
school (n=3074) students, ages 11 to 18, completed surveys. The
frequency of family meals, level of family connectedness, academic
performance, substance use, self-esteem, depressions, suicidal
thoughts and suicidal attempts were assessed.
children interrupt our conversations constantly. Even while I’m
asking them to wait until we’re done talking...
Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but
in the same breath, they respond to the child’s interrupted
request! Interrupting is habit forming. Like many annoying behaviors,
once kids figure out that they can “get away with it,”
the behavior will continue.
two boys, ages 7 and 9, are constantly fighting. The only thing
that works is to separate them — my wife is with one, and
I take the other. It's driving us nuts. Do you have any suggestions?
Siblings will naturally vie for their parents’
attention, and fighting will be a part of that. It is completely
normal. The problem with separating them too much is that they
won't learn some of the skills that will help them to get along
in the future.
can I give my child when she's had a stressful day, is nervous,
fearful, teething, or cannot seem to fall asleep?
Mrs. Rabbit's secret tea is the answer to a multitude
of baby and child upsets. Peter Rabbit’s heart went pit-a-pat
as he ran from Farmer MacGregor, but his mother knew to calm him
with a nice warm cup of chamomile tea. When he couldn’t
sleep or had a tummy ache, good old chamomile came to the rescue.
for Kids and Parents
“Baby yoga! Baby yoga!”
This is my daughter’s chant any time she reaches over to
place her hands in front of her toes, in essence doing the toddler
version of downward facing dog. I fantasized about doing yoga
with my children before becoming pregnant, but I never pictured
it like this.
Kids Can Manage Stress
Children may react to excess stress with behavior that seems immature, inappropriate
or even disturbing. Stress can be terrifying to children who lack the emotional
maturity or experience to understand and deal with it. The challenge for parents,
teachers and other caretakers include how to recognize signs of stress in children
of different ages, how to know when stress threatens to overwhelm a child and
what to do about it.
to Build Sibling Attachment
The second time around, a
parent knows how to care for an infant and how quickly the dependent
infant becomes a struggling-for-independence child. For many parents
pregnant with the second, the fear is about the first child. How
will she handle the new baby? How am I going to give my first the
attention she is used to?
Reasons to Tell Your Kids Stories
In today’s busy world, many parents
have lost the art of telling their stories to their kids.
Don't pass up the opportunity to connect with your kids
at the same time you tell them what's important to you.
It will be a huge gift to your kids, and a huge gift to
Redefining "Grounding" for
I invite you to ground yourself
in love and compassion. For thousands of years, great, grounded
teachers have exemplified the power of love and compassion to
generate happiness and to feel the joy of being alive. Ground
yourself in love and compassion, and you will feel that same
Kids to Organize Themselves
year is in full swing again in many places -- and with it, another
opportunity to make the days run a bit smoother than they did
before. Like most parents, I've discovered there are a handful
of challenges each year that need to be addressed to make for
a productive, successful school year.
Five-year-old Jasper doesn't look
up at the people watching him as he studies the mandrill's colorful
face and picks the right colored pencil. Then he's ready to move
on to the orangutans, whom he has sketched before. With only inches
of glass separating them, he shows the finished portrait to the
great ape, who grins at him, much to the audience’s delight.
10 Ways to Keep Your Kids From Fighting
among siblings is as natural as the changing of the seasons. All
parents will have to deal with it. There are some simple things
we can do to limit fighting and make it tolerable.
Ways to Get Your Kids to Talk to You
can often be frustrated by their kids' unwillingness to
share their lives with them. Whether your kids are toddlers
or teens, there will be times when it's difficult to break
through and find out what's really going on.
grocery stores and other public places, I often see parents being
harsh toward their children, who are understandably
tired and impatient. What is reasonable
to expect from a child in this kind of situation, and what is
reasonable to expect from a parent?
Your Giving Your Kids Hurried Child Syndrome?
In an era of technological
and media advances, children are often portrayed as little adults.
However, if children are offered the stresses of adulthood, they
will also exhibit the ailments of adulthood.
Dangers of Holding Therapy
Whether by a parent, therapist or stranger,
physically overpowering a helpless child is wrong. Justifying
it by calling it "love" or "therapy" is
a violation of the child’s trust and understanding
of life as he has come to know it.
You Reward Your Kids?
If rewards did work, they would help us to raise responsible
and well-adjusted children. Let's look at how rewards
really do work.
Your Kids Household Chores!
The early participation in household chores was deemed more
important in their success than any other factor, including
IQ. On the other hand, if children did not begin participating
in household chores until they were teenagers, the experience
seemed to backfire and had a negative effect on their success
as young adults, using those same measures.
Children to Play Naturally
The research is clear: Children need to play, and play is
how they learn best. True play is child-initiated and led,
children are active participants in creating their own play
Your Kids to Cooperate
you’re waiting for your child to start cooperating of his
own free will, you might want to pack a lunch. Things won’t
change on their own. It takes consistent, effective parenting
skills to change your children’s behavior and to encourage
your children to cooperate willingly on a regular basis.
All Day Long
Providing a rich learning
environment for your baby or toddler isn’t as complicated
as you might think. Creating a great environment for learning
simply means doing the things that you would normally do with
them anyway but in a conscientious manner.
parenting comes naturally
told me five years ago that I was a "natural parent," I
would have sputtered in protest. To me, natural parenting brought
to mind images of a woman toting a baby attached to her breast
in public, sleeping communally on a mattress on the floor and flaunting
hairy armpits. None of those pictures pertained to me!
is Attachment Parenting?
Parenting: Is It For You?
is Attachment Parenting?
Science of Attachment
The Chemistry of Attachment
Long Term Attachment Parenting
What exactly is “attachment parenting”
as it applies to all ages?
Articles and Sibling Rivalry
Tips to Build Sibling Attachment
Siblings at the
How do we know if we’re ready to have another
How to Help Your Marriage Survive a New Baby
Pitching In: Simple
Ways to Get Your Family Involved
Your Parenting Comes Under Fire
Both Parents Work? Should One Stay at Home?
Playdates for Parents
it ok to spoil your kids?
on Getting Kids To Sleep
My 6-month-old baby
wakes up almost every hour to breastfeed.
My baby won't nap! She fights sleep but gets fussier and fussier
as the day progresses.
Using White Noise While Babies Sleep
Write a Family Bestseller: “My Sleep Book”
Why Isn't She Sleeping at Night?
Child's Feelings and Emotional Intelligence
Build Your Child’s
What You Say and What Your Children Hear
Helping Kids Cope With
News of War
Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent
Be Smart With Your Children’s Feelings
How You Can Teach Your Child Respect
Responsibility - Responsible Children
The Hidden Messages
10 Reasons to Tell
Your Kids Stories
Help Your Hubby Support Breastfeeding
For Overwhelmed Fathers
- Save Memories of Your Children
Tell Your Stories
Top 10 Common Sense Rules
How to Help Your Marriage Survive
a New Baby
When It’s More Than the “Baby
I Yelled at My Kids
My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!
Gentle Discipline Articles
for Your Teens
Give Your Kids the “N” Word
Your Kids From Fighting - Fighting Kids - Fighting Siblings
Of Conflict and
Control - Kid Discipline
To Spank Your Child or Not to Spank?
Get Your Toddler to Cooperate - Parenting
How to Homeschool
Building the Unschooling or Homeschooling Village
I do not feel qualified to teach my children
Husband's involvement in homeschooling
How should we structure our school year?
Science in the Blink of an Eye
Building the Unschooling
or Homeschooling Village
Can a Single Parent Unschool?
Isn't “unschooling” just a
fancy way of saying you ignore your children? Is that even legal?
Attachment Parenting Articles
Create a Peaceful
Long Term Attachment Parenting
Can There Be Too Much? - Attachment Parenting
Parenting Style Differences
Caring vs. Caring Too Much
Learning All Day Long
Falling off the AP Wagon